07 Mar How to Tame Your Fears Once and For All
She was having trouble sleeping, and she couldn’t figure out why. Things were going great. She had just gotten a big promotion. Her new boss had handpicked her to run the technical side of a new division, and it was her chance to work directly with a respected leader, to shine in her specific area of expertise, and to hire and manage a team to facilitate her vision.
When I tested to see what was happening in her body, her Sympathetic Nervous System was active; she was having a major fear response. Here she was getting the recognition and opportunity she always wanted, and underneath her initial excitement, she was actually terrified.
Change, even when it’s positive, can be super scary because it challenges the status quo and your vision of yourself. I muscle tested to see what specific fears were behind this and found –
“Fear of not being perfect.”
“Fear of losing control.”
Working in the male-dominated banking industry her entire career, she was aware of just how rare it was for a woman to be given this level of responsibility. She was being elevated to the level of “a boss.” And, she had never thought of herself that way. While she knew she could do a great job, she was putting an awful amount of pressure on herself to “be perfect.” And, she was making every move she made way harder than it needed to be because she had so much fear about how she might not measure up in this new role. She is not alone:
“Men, in general, apply for promotions when they meet 60 percent of the criteria. Women? 100 percent!” – Sheryl Sandburg (COO of Facebook and author of the best selling book, Lean In) pointed this out in an interview with Oprah.
Interesting right? I ask you now to just think about how fear of not being perfect may have stopped you?
While striving for perfection assures you do better than average work, where does it end?
The other big fear we found was,”fear of losing control.”
She has that old, “do it yourself,” mentality. She was afraid if she handed tasks over to her new team that they may, “do it wrong” or “mess things up.” This fear of losing control only bolstered her “fear of not being perfect!”
Can any of you relate? Find it difficult to ask for help?
After the exercises I am about to share with you got her out of her fear state, we spoke about how these fears were not life-threatening. Her job wasn’t even being threatened, as her boss was supporting her success, and giving her the resources she needed. Yet these fears had worked her central nervous system into such a state, that she wasn’t sleeping, and she was feeling anxious about going to work.
THIS DISTINCTION made ALL the DIFFERENCE! This distinction can change your perception of fear and your own power forever!
When you feel fear, in most cases, you are safe. Now, if your life is being threatened, please protect yourself and remove yourself from any situation that does not feel safe. However, most of our modern day fears are just uncomfortable feelings. And, recognizing these fears as uncomfortable feelings, versus real life-threatening or job threatening fears, can help you take back your power.
Remember, while it may feel scary, when you really look at it, it’s just uncomfortable. And, you can release uncomfortable feelings you feel with the energy work I am sharing in these blogs.
So without further ado; here is an exercise that has helped both me and my clients release fear and get back in touch with our power and our purpose!
So much love, peace, and joy!